Bad News: Santa Saw Your Instagram Pictures

Who would have thought that paying attention in school and not dressing like a prostitute would pay off? You didn’t. That’s why you won’t get the latest iPhone for Christmas. Only a dictionary and some clothes for you.

You're getting clothes and a dictionary for Christmas.

Glitter Armpits: Weird Instagram Beauty Trend

Turns out there is an internet beauty trend to stick glitter into armpit hair and post selfies on Instagram using #GlitterPits tag. We truly live in a wonderful time where the Earth is dying and people are keeping to kill it even faster by filling the environment with microplastics because they like to stuff colorful glitter in their armpits for internet clout.

Glitter armpits. Why not?

Read more

Cuck Chair: Why Does Every Hotel Has One?

Serious question: do you have any idea why every hotel has a cuck chair? What’s a cuck chair? Cuck chair is a slang term for a chair situated nearby and facing a bed, allowing for a cuckold to sit and watch their partner have sex with another person. It’s a mystery why hotel owners think that these chairs must be placed in every room, though. Check it out for yourself next time you have a vacation and are staying in a hotel.

Serious question: do you have any idea why every hotel has a cuck chair?

Mariah Carey Defrosting Meme: Christmas Is Coming

It’s finally October so here’s a Mariah Carey defrosting meme to remind you that the holiday song “All I Want for Christmas Is You” will start playing in public places increasingly more and more as Christmas approaches as if Carey begins to defrost some time around Halloween.

It's finally October so here's a Mariah Carey defrosting meme to remind you that the holiday song "All I Want for Christmas Is You" will start playing in public places increasingly more and more as Christmas approaches as if Carey begins to defrost some time around Halloween.

Judaism, Christianity And Islam vs. Hinduism

Joking about religion is really tricky. If you joke about Judaism, you may get into trouble for being labeled as an anti-Semite. If you joke about Christians, they get angry than nobody ever jokes about Muslims. If you joke about Muslims… well… you get into all kinds of trouble. So the safest approach is to joke about all religions at the same time.

It is really unfortunate that Islam, Christianity, and Judaism have been fighting each other for centuries. Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.

Praying To Your Ancestors: Not Very Effective

When someone says that he or she is praying to their ancestors, they might think that they’re are talking to spirits. In reality they’re talking to a weird creature that lived in a pond and flapping their little stupid fins without understanding a single word.

Praying to your ancestors.

Dear Vegans, Even Plants Think You’re Wrong

All plants would probably enjoy a tasty meal of liver if they could. For those who don’t get the joke – the plant you see in this picture is Venus flytrap, carnivorous plant notable for its habit of catching and digesting insects and other small animals.

The plant you see in this picture is Venus flytrap, carnivorous plant notable for its habit of catching and digesting insects and other small animals.