Some People Just Don’t Know How To Lose


Let’s address a peculiar phenomenon that has been observed in the wild. It’s the case of the elusive species known as “sore loserus maximus”. These individuals possess total inability to lose with dignity. Like some cops who turn on lights and siren when they lose a drag race.

Some people don't know how to lose. Turning on your lights and siren after you lose a drag race is just poor sportsmanship.

Chemtrail Conspiracy Theory In a Nutshell


Chemtrails refers to the conspiracy theory that the government is engaged in a secret program to add toxic chemicals to the atmosphere from aircraft in a way that forms visible lines in the sky. Various different motivations for this alleged spraying are speculated, including mind control, human sterilization, reduction of life expectancy, or weather control. But the real reason behind it is quite simple: some people are just dumb.

This scares me because I failed high school science.

Women Love Statistics Jokes, Try This One


It might come as a surprise to you, but women have an undying love for statistics jokes. They love to embrace the comedic journey through the world of numbers and giggles. It’s a great way to flirt and pick up ladies in bars.

You're the most average girl here. Wow, you're mean. No, you are.

The Buttress Pillow: The Perfect Gift For a Lonely Man


Are you looking for a gift for a sad, lonely man who would love to use a yoga-pants wearing butt pillow to snuggle up with at night, so it can become his 1/4 wife? If the answer is YES, you are in luck! Introducing the buttress pillow! The company that makes it claims that it feels like a real woman’s butt and sleeping on it will help to reduce anxiety. We, however, think that’s bullshit, and they made this just to have a laugh.

The Buttress pillow.

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Why Is It So Hard To Stop Drinking


You may wonder why is it so hard to stop drinking. The answer is quite simple: when you tell yourself this, you are most likely already drunk. And who listens to drunks who talk to themselves? Only fools. There you go.

I told myself I should stop drinking. But I'm not about to listen to some drunk who talks to himself.

Introducing Girlfriend To Family


When is it a good time to introduce your girlfriend to your family? Well… it differs from family to family, there’s no one timeline that fits all families. For some families the answer is: never, because they are all a-holes.

Dad, this is my girlfriend. You deserve better, don't settle for this. But dad, I love her... I'm talking to her.

Forgive Me Father For I Have Sinned…


You may think that “Forgive me, father, for I have sinned” is the only way to start a confession, but what if you have actually synonymed, not sinned? Then you have to open with “Forgive me father, vicar, pastor, padre, priest…”

Forgive me father, vicar, pastor, padre, priest... For I have synonymed.