Shittens: The Mitten-Shaped Toilet Paper Alternative

{11 Comments}

When you’re sittin’ on the toilet and the paper is gone, be a man, use your hand… or get some Shittens! After all, protecting ourselves from fecal matter should be a top priority right up there with wearing sunscreen and planning for retirement.

Shittens: the perfect toilet paper alternative.

Shit is gross. Nobody is arguing about that. That’s why it’s the star of biting zingers such as “Shithead”, “Shit for brains”, or “Eat shit and die”, so it’s really important to not get in your hands after after a hard and disastrous pooping session.

Shittens: the perfect toilet paper alternative.

Shittens: the perfect toilet paper alternative.

Shittens are disposable mitten-shaped moist wipes come in a pack of 20 towelettes, are eco-friendly and FDA approved for babies, pets, and adults, and each mitten measures 7 inches x 5 inches (18 cm x 13 cm) and can be purchased on Amazon… obviously… because Jeff Bezos owns everything and everyone, and he’s even ready to profit from stupid crap like this.

Shittens: the perfect toilet paper alternative.

If you enjoy wasting your money on dumb stuff like this, also check out Poop Knife and Undies For Two which we’ve previously featured on this awesome site.

11 Comments…

 Share your views
  1. Catsaregods March 27, 2021

    MMMMMM… Nutella

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  2. Satan Claus March 27, 2021

    You can turn them inside-out to use them twice!

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  3. These will go great with my Shnuggie. (the poopable snuggie. stay warm and cozy while you go)

  4. Why not just wash? That thing in many European hotel bathrooms is NOT a drinking fountain. It is for getting back that fresh feeling after using the toilet.

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  5. Big sales in the Middle East no doubt.

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  6. The only way to touch an incel.

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  7. mooselimbs just use their left hand

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