The Most Useless Superpowers Ever



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  1. I think I might have the ‘detect trash’ superpower. It’s this thread.

  2. Fred Garvin October 8, 2015

    Here’s another useless superpower: Creating unfunny cartoons for this website.

  3. Laugh at complete crap…..

  4. What’s with the shitty attitude in comments? I thought it was quite funny.

  5. Ooh, here’s another one:

  6. Raccoonmask October 9, 2015

    Many of these are actually amazingly useful.
    *Low flight – heck, become a magician.. or travel around the world above the ocean etc.
    *Super slo-mo – become the most precise stock shooter, Archer or a brain surgeons.
    *1 sec strength – become a boxer. KO people with your dragon fist.
    *absorb bad luck – Green mile guy.
    *bullet attraction – be put insode a tank. Drive into a battlefield. Your team meanwhile enjoys a bullet-free charge onto the enemy.
    *invisibility in the dark – darkness irl is not opaque. I.e. you can still see. Being invisible in the dark would be amazingly useful.

  7. Raccoonmask October 9, 2015

    Summon a lamp once – make a HUGE spectacle from it.
    Summon it.
    Let illusionists and scientists wonder about this trick for the next millenia.

  8. yes very funny! I liked it.
    (Also if people don’t like it – well no-one is forcing them to read the page)

  9. i can summon a patato… as well as absorb it…

  10. Dat Splinter Guy October 9, 2015

    The invisibility in the dark would be extra insurance in a stealth mission though…

  11. You can rob banks in the dark–or mansions….

  12. Reading your own thoughts is the superpower of “The Secret”!
    If you can, you can recognize, that you are not your thoughts and get free.

  13. The Lone Wonderer October 18, 2015

    Regarding this “revive dead bugs”… would actually be useful considering the massive scale on which bees appear to be dying.

  14. Anonymous May 9, 2019

    Revive bugs is good if you can make them attack.

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