The Most Useless Superpowers Ever

18 thoughts on “The Most Useless Superpowers Ever”

  1. I think I might have the ‘detect trash’ superpower. It’s this thread.

  2. Here’s another useless superpower: Creating unfunny cartoons for this website.

  3. Laugh at complete crap…..

  4. What’s with the shitty attitude in comments? I thought it was quite funny.

  5. Another useless superpower- thinking things are funny that aren’t.

  6. We’ve seen better.

  7. Your face is funny! But yeah, this one is better than the Ghostbusters/Moby Dick comic. Didn’t take much effort, though.

  8. Ooh, here’s another one:

  9. Many of these are actually amazingly useful.
    *Low flight – heck, become a magician.. or travel around the world above the ocean etc.
    *Super slo-mo – become the most precise stock shooter, Archer or a brain surgeons.
    *1 sec strength – become a boxer. KO people with your dragon fist.
    *absorb bad luck – Green mile guy.
    *bullet attraction – be put insode a tank. Drive into a battlefield. Your team meanwhile enjoys a bullet-free charge onto the enemy.
    *invisibility in the dark – darkness irl is not opaque. I.e. you can still see. Being invisible in the dark would be amazingly useful.

  10. Summon a lamp once – make a HUGE spectacle from it.
    Summon it.
    Let illusionists and scientists wonder about this trick for the next millenia.

  11. yes very funny! I liked it.
    (Also if people don’t like it – well no-one is forcing them to read the page)

  12. i can summon a patato… as well as absorb it…

  13. The invisibility in the dark would be extra insurance in a stealth mission though…

  14. You can rob banks in the dark–or mansions….

  15. * Revive bugs – entomology / conservation

  16. Reading your own thoughts is the superpower of “The Secret”!
    If you can, you can recognize, that you are not your thoughts and get free.

  17. Regarding this “revive dead bugs”… would actually be useful considering the massive scale on which bees appear to be dying.

  18. Revive bugs is good if you can make them attack.

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