The Only One In Heaven

Jesus, why I am the only one here in heaven with you? Everyone else's theology was slightly off.

28 thoughts on “The Only One In Heaven”

  1. And we all know where entitled conservatives go. 😈

  2. Yarp. The Lawd Jeezus had only 2 rules: Love God, love each other. Some numbnuts decided to embellish and we now have hundreds of rules for everything from how to cut your hair (Leviticus 19:27) to no killing. No killing well, that’s obviously falls under the “love each other rule.” But the no chili bowl haircut? That’s only a sin against fashion, not God.

  3. 2000 years ago when the lad lived, there were a lot of turmoil in the land. The lad was simple carpenter and he had paid a lot of money to be with this harlot called Maria, just like his mother, to fullfill his oedipus-complex fantasy. People weren’t too pleased about his incestrous fantasies and that bothered the lad. On top of this every time he could hear the unrest through the brothel door he lost his erection. Thus he came up with this cunning plan, to tell people to love each other and stop fighting, so he could have some peace and quiet in order to get value for the handful of shekels he had paid her.

  4. Nice stick Jesus!

  5. African girls are loved by everyone. ^_^

  6. Representations of Mohammad are punishable by death.

  7. Whataboutism. Republicans and Taliban are the same. Always have been.

  8. That would be a pain to carry around.

  9. Yes, praying with supreme court justices and influencing (or ordering) their ruling. The fast coup failed on 1/6, the slow one is still going on. Evangelical extremists are working on making America into a christian Iran.

  10. @Anon#1:
    My bad, I thought Landlord was insulting the prophet with the pic.

  11. What isn’t punishable by death in islam?

  12. They follow the same God as christians. So, soon all that will be punishable by death in the US too. Enjoy.

  13. Right..

  14. Sure lots of nincompoops out there. The old rule should apply, never discuss politics, religion,
    or your partners sexual fantasies.

  15. What about America Hating? We live for that!

  16. America hates itself. For good reason.

  17. You’d think it was the only country in the world if you just read this site. It’s all they talk about. Do they know anything about their own countries or are they just obsessed with the US. Kind of sad…

  18. Americans only know the U.S. They are the only people proud to never leave the country or learn about other nations or cultures. Hybris.

  19. Right.. Americans never travel internationally, never! Oh wait.. They do.. more than any other people on earth because they can afford it. I think what you meant to say was that YOU have never been to America and know nothing of it but the negative propaganda. Or maybe they go to other nations, see the culture and are sickened or unimpressed. That’s probably it.

  20. The only reason for Americans to travel abroad is to steal other peoples’ resources.

  21. The US State Department estimates that only 37 per cent of the US population has a valid passport which is needed to travel abroad. In the last census 83 per cent of British citizens had a valid passport and most European countries have similar figures.

  22. Patriots and idiots. Fine line.

  23. British population: 66 million
    US population: 335 million

    Heavy sigh.. like talking to 6 year olds

  24. European population 746 million. Nearly every European country with greater than 80 percent of their population having valid passports.
    That’s around 600 million Europeans travelling around the world compared to about 120 million Americans.
    It may seem that there are more Americans because they tend to make more noise and cause more chaos than the citizens most other countries.

  25. Euro Trash visiting Euro Trash. No One Cares.

  26. Read: I lost the argument.

  27. We hate America! They say with their hands out..

  28. Read:I lost the argument.

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