Not Feeling Very Bright?

{28 Comments}

Just remember that there are grown adults who actually believe that two penguins walked all the way from Antarctica to the Middle East to get aboard an ark built by a 500 year old man.

28 Comments…

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  1. What if my son still isn’t very bright, even compared to religious nuts?

  2. And if you’re still feeling dumb, remember some people believes in socialism

  3. George Carlin — ‘Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.’

  4. Before the flood, before any rain had fallen and the world was still light by sunlight passing through the crystal canopy giving off a pink glow (the same spectrum of light growlights for plants use), the continents were all in one mass. People call it pangea today but whatever. The almighty sent the creatures he wanted in the ark to Noah and they arrived before the flood took place and before the ark was sealed by those who laughed at Noah but gladly took his money to build the ark. It took a long time to build the ark. The fishes survived because they live in water, but the dinosaurs didn’t and that was cool with the almighty, and the last of the giants, the offspring of angels mating with humans – barely made it and was later killed by Moses – this is in the apocrypha.

    The crystal canopy was broken, causing the water it was made of to fall to earth, and the fountains of the deep were broken up, meaning the continent pangea was broken apart as the seas roared and all the people who didn’t listen to Noah died. Before the canopy was broken, no rain had ever fallen on the earth, no blue sky and clouds had yet appeared. Note that there are tropical plants and animals fossilised at the polar regions, obviously some major global climate change took place lol.

    The presence of the crystal canopy made the entire earth a tropical paradise with no seasons, and just as the bible said, a mist came from the ground that watered the earth. This means trees would have no growth rings, and just like Adam and the rest of the fathers, animals and plants lived a lot longer and grew larger than today. After the flood, neither man nor beast lives very long as the crystal canopy protected us from solar and galactic radiation and the only pollution in the world back then was the sin of man, not smoke or chemicals from a factory belched into the sky and streams. The next time the almighty destroys the world it will be with fire, and because the same kind of people as lived in Noah’s day will again be sinning openly and without shame, calling evil good and good evil. I know this is casting pearls before swine but I thought I’d chime in on the subject.

    • Jesus Christ August 27, 2018

      Nope. Not what happened! I should know. I was there. Were you there? Yeah, I didn’t think so!

      Google “Bill Nye Ken Ham debate”. Watch everything Bill says. 11 new species every day? 4 years worth of seasons every day? Don’t you think someone would notice? Unless you were born yesterday (I wasn’t) then you would have noticed. Your model of the Earth is lacking historicity. I didn’t die on the cross for this level of crazy. So knock it off!

    • Don’t stop there. Complete the hypothesis, Josh! Where do leprechauns fit in? Vampires? Unicorns, too – did they just miss the ark? Did lizard people begin infiltrating earth before or after Jonah lived inside a fish/whale for a while? And how about Snow White – was she properly dragged out and executed (Deuteronomy 22:13-21) after she was discovered shacking up with seven men?

      So many questions. But as you’ve shown, Josh, you can answer anything! Have at it.

    • If all species survived on this ark, including bacteria and viruses, all passengers must have been riddled with many fatal infections. Epic flaw, so sad.

    • Deseases God gave mankind out of love, no doubt.

    • I have a good supply of tin-foil hats for sale, $1 each, or 3 for $5. Get yours while they’re cheap….

  5. Real person August 27, 2018

    “…I know this is casting pearls before swine…”

    No. It is literally casting laughable superstition and fairy tales before modern, thinking people. That’s why it isn’t working, and why your cult is dying.

  6. Zelda's Mum August 27, 2018

    Faith;
    Two apes had sex in my past and I was born. My continued respiration is a point source of a toxic gas that will destroy the planet unless curtained by forceful yet loving hand of the central government. Descendants of those from the Caucasus mountain regions of Russia are pox on the planet and the cause of every unfortunate outcome. Only when private property is abolished and the human condition is regulated by the state will Nirvana come.

    • Every living thing born to this lanet has a place and a purpose.

    • It’s not just those from the caucasus. Look it up. Other cultures ruined they environment too. In Asia, Amerika, Afrika, even Australia. Every continent a human sets foot on will burn. Now imagine us exploring the galaxy…

  7. Ornithologist Bob August 27, 2018

    Penguins can swim. Penguins like fish. Fish can swim too.

    • Maybe the penguins were not too kin to go swimming with mosasaurs living in open waters. Hm, why did they not go extinct?

  8. As a church elder told me one time, the Bible is a guide book, not a rule book. The biggest problem with the Bible is that so many take it so literally. The stories in it are metafores, helping one to live live as it should be.

    • Slavery?
      Bible: “No problem. Go for it!”

      Gays?
      Bible: “Execute ’em!”

      Women?
      Bible: “Shut up, property, and let the men do the talking.”

      Yep. “Helping one to live live as it should be.”

    • Don’t let the VPOTUS know that you are in on his plans.

    • @Meh: Another one taking the Bible literally. (◔_◔)

  9. Yeah, I screwed up with that whole “Bible is a guide book” bullshit. Remember that one time a group of kids made fun of my prophet for being bald, so I sent a bear to maul them to death? Yeah, don’t follow my example. That was pretty effed up. Not as effed up as drowning almost all little children, animals, pregnant women, and the rest of the planet all because they didn’t love me enough. Look, I want to be loved. If you don’t love me, I’ll drown you. But we’re cool now, cuz rainbows! Rainbows made all my murdering just fine 😊

  10. hahahahahaha… umm to the oh so intelligent person who created this, and the geniuses that use it to support their anti-christian beliefs: Penguins can survive a flood. And to add insult to injury… yeah, of course they have to be able to survive a flood, they’re birds remember..birds fly. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA… He stored them on the ark next to the fish. Speaking of fish, your logic is as easy to destroy as shooting fish in a barrel. <

  11. Not feeling very bright? Just remember that there are grown adults who actually voted for Trump!

  12. Thomas R. Wagner of Los Angeles, pussies April 16, 2020

    Wow, the idiocy mascarading as intelligence and heresy imitating reason is mind boggling. Why are atheists so incredibly threatened by Christianity but not other religions? Your own defensiveness speaks volumes… especially when the only people with the guts to use their real names are senseless morons by your limited definition of truth.

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