Every Religious War Ever

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  1. Love this… Yassar Arafat (allegedly) “To me, a war over religion, is a fight to see who has the best imaginary friend”… GOLD…

    • Nice! I’d be surprised if the quote was actually from him though, cause he is said to have been a pious man.

  2. FTFY: “There can be no peace until we take their resources”
    Neither army gives a sh*t about God. It’s all just clever marketing.

  3. Has there ever been a non religious war..?

    • Money and religion are the two driving forces. I am sure that Dick Cheney could not have cared less about God, religion, etc. He wanted Iraq for the oil and the Halliburton monopoly. Others (like most of the GOP), probably saw it as a way to spread Christianity.

    • really old history November 29, 2014

      You could start with Attila the Hun and Genghis Khan.

    • Communist holocaust November 29, 2014

      100million+ dead.

  4. Both armies are holding up duck flags, or is it rabbit flags? Make about as much sense either way.

  5. On a tangent, what if Jesus was executed via firing squad? Instead of a cross, Christians would have the image of their god tied to a pole while others were aiming at him. What if Jesus was hanged? The image of Jesus dangling from a rope might be what people pray to.

  6. I find it incredibly offensive

    • Atheist Freedom Fighter November 29, 2014

      Start a holy war then. Killing people for their own thoughts ans believes. Isn’t that what you peace-loving theists do? X-D

    • The Great Pumpkin November 29, 2014

      I know what you mean. I find religion incredibly offensive too, preying on people’s weaknesses as it does.

    • @The Great Pumpkin: This is what makes whatever you believe/follow just another religion.

    • The Great Pumpkin December 1, 2014

      @bara: Oh. hey, I’m a religion!

  7. hey, I'm new here and this may sound crazy November 29, 2014

    I’ll join crocoduck army.

    • It does, because... November 29, 2014

      Those heretics will be annihilated by the mighty Owlbear horde.

  8. Christian Mohammed November 29, 2014

    With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion. – Steven Weinberg

  9. I would replace “religion” with “belief” here. War meant to “bring democracy” to the people of is just as “religious” as jihad. We just believe (to the point that we say that we “know”) that our values are better somehow.

  10. It used to be major religions were polytheistic (had many/multiple gods). Judaism wasn’t the only monotheistic one (single god) but it became popular. It spread through ancient Rome who, after some time, rewrote and expanded on the text, giving us Christianity. I know less of Islam, just that it is a third rewrite + expansion of the same book, with a second prophet- Mohammed.
    These three religions are based off the same book, follow exactly the same God, just using different words.
    The Torah’s (Jewish holy book) language (Yiddish?) is very law based. I believe Torah means “The Law”. It tells you how you must act, how you must live, what you must and mustn’t do, but also encourages debate, sort of like debating law. This is my impression anyway. Jews seem strict but most seem willing to understand other views.
    Well the Bible now is in English. English is somewhat law-based (from Latin roots of Christianity), but English is more relaxed and direct (or blunt). Has more ambiguity. It is also more possessive. Ownership, theft and property are more pronounced. It tells you how you should act, but the ambiguity means it can be interpreted many ways, thus the many denominations of Christianity.
    Arabic seems more artful, though I know little of it, also seems more nuanced or specific? The Koran thus seems to give very specific instructions on how to do many things, but because it’s so nuanced it leaves little room for debate on how they are done. So there seems to be fewer but larger denominations of Islam. This also means that other denominations to your own are “wrong”, because they don’t use the “correct” interpretation you use. This is my perception of it anyway.
    I find it a little interesting how the same book, translated into different languages can be so different. Also how each language shapes and colours the interpretations.

  11. LogiC
    Your post demonstrates that you know nothing about these three religions.
    The Koran written in Arabic has no similarity to the Torah written in Hebrew & Aramaic and Christians study the Torah and the New Testament which was written in Greek.

    • No similarities except for the fact they’re almost exactly the same.

  12. PatronasKitty7 October 1, 2015

    You Guys are taking this very seriously. This is obviously just a joke, poking fun at religious wars.

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