Find Out Your 2016 Horoscope!



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  1. Damn, I knew it. Same as last year. Curse you, fate!

  2. I disagree 100%
    at the very least, the moon affects the tides, with its baby pulling force.

    • But the moon is neither a star nor a planet ;p

    • Francis X. Clampozzo January 4, 2016

      @Calaerel: ESA (European Space Agency) considers the Earth-Moon system a double planet.

    • Bubba and Joe Bob January 6, 2016

      Hey wait… Ain’t the earth a planet, and don’t it affect us with its gravity? Why ain’t it in the horriblescope? Jist asking.

    • Yes, and your brain is mostly water, which causes it to be sucked out towards the moon through your ears, in turn causing what is left to write this nonsense.

  3. PatronasKitty7 January 6, 2016

    Aww yiss! I got the one that perfectly describes my personality! (said no one ever)

  4. The age-old misconception that planets and stars effect changes in our lives is exactly backwards. The ancients developed astrology using the movements of stars and planets as examples, metaphors if you will, of real changes, cycles and patterns that are observable in nature, human and otherwise. It’s as precise as any observable phenomena, for instance, wetting your finger and sticking it in the air to tell which way the wind is blowing.

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