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  1. Socialism's wrong August 18, 2015

    Socialism here is incorrect. It should be ‘The state takes one of your cows away and gives it to your neighbour’. There’s no voluntary component!

    • andyinthesmoke August 18, 2015

      Socialism: “You have two cows. The state takes a reasonable, manageable quantity of your milk, and that of all your other neighbours who have cows, and distributes it among those people who don’t have any cows. They also help those without cows to save for cows, and train them in how to look after cows. (If your cows die, stop producing milk or are stolen, then the state will do the same for you, they will provide you with enough milk to live on and help you to buy more cows). Most in your community will accept this system and consider it intelligent and morally just, but you will continue to whine about it because you’re a greedy *******.”

    • Socialism: Cows come across borders… state does not milk them.

    • Socialism: You have two cows. The state takes one to give to the neighbor, but finagles a way to keep all the milk. Then you’re left with the bad cow and don’t make any money, so you’re stuck trying to get by on canned sardines and spam. Furthermore, none of the educated people like your barn and have abandoned it.

  2. None of this is correct….I have my cow, I milk it, i eat it, its gone. Government remains corrupt but leaves my cow alone!

  3. Bubba and Joe Bob August 18, 2015

    This whole set of cow picters looks like a lot of bull.

  4. Eastern Europe Corporation:
    You have 1 goat in the yard and 2 cows who live in the basement and the State knows nothing about them. You drink your milk and keep wining about hunger and poverty to convince the State you are underfed. + Sell goat cheese to Russians.

  5. Hell Toupee August 18, 2015

    ahhh, where would we be without stereotypes…

  6. Kiss the cook August 18, 2015

    BBQ the cows, invite your friends. Burp.

  7. I dont think that´s how fascism works, but anyway…

  8. The idea of “Socialism” is lost on the people (dumb rednecks, Bible Belt hillbillies, Midwestern farmers, etc.) who need it the most.

  9. I have seen this “cow” joke about 5-6 years ago.
    how come there are about 6-7 major comic-like graphs suddenly? How is this suddenly poplar in 2015??? And how come people lack imagination to a such a degree, they are simply rewriting the same shit in a different package?

  10. Feodalism:
    You have 2 cows. Your landlord takes the milk.
    Old world imperialism:
    You have 2 cows. You sell them both to your neighbour. Next night you steal 4 of your neighbour’s cows and later you sell their milk to your neighbour.
    You have 2 cows. Your neighbours vote to decide who will have the milk.
    Eastern European democracy:
    You have 2 cows. You sell the milk (blended with water) to your neighbour (or anywhere where is free market policy) with high price. If someone asks for receipt, you will double the price, so no-one won’t ask the receipt anymore. Later your neighbour (or somebody else) steals your cows and then sells them back to you. If you ask the receipt, they will double the price.
    Bureaucratic socialism:
    You have 2 cows. The State takes them both and put them into barn together with all other cows. Cows are taken care by ex chicken farmers. And you have to take care of chickens. The State will give you as much milk and eggs as rationing policy permits.
    European Union:
    You have 2 cows. You have to butcher one of them because there is milk overproduction in some other member state and the EU rules say so. After you have butchered your cow, you realize that it was not neccessary: the system was just too slow to publish the latest milk production numbers.
    You have 2 cows. The State demands that you keep them on separate fields because they have different coloured hide. Nobody wants to buy your milk anymore. Furthermore: Bruce Spingsteen denies to perform in your barn.
    United Nations:
    You have 2 cows. You squeeze too hard of their udders while milking. One of cows appeals to the State and all your neighbours will immediate come to help your cow. The neighbours start to guard your milking station with blue milkcans on their heads. After that you have to milk your cows behind the barn so that the neighbours won’t see.
    You have 2 cows. They decide to go to henhouse to drive away foxes. If you prevent that, the State will take your money because you have fell short of the henhouse defence budget.
    Religion wars:
    You have 2 cows. They run away to your neighbour’s field and threat to kill all horses unless the horses will start to act like cows.

  11. Australian one is only really correct one here.

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