These Offensive Crayons Will Bring Out The Worst In You

{60 Comments}

If your favorite pastime is being offended, or your favorite means of spreading holiday cheer is offending others, get ready for hours of fun with Offensive Crayons. Our favorite color choices: “Insufferable Vegan Green”, “Communist Gulag Red”, and “Your Parents’ Divorce Was Your Fault, Peach”.

Funny offensive crayons.

But wait, there’s more! In honor of not flying to see your family this year, crap presents with no gift receipt you just have to donate to Goodwill, and that jolly fat white mass of heart disease waiting to happen hosting lap sessions via Zoom, Offensive Crayons: Holiday Edition!

Funny offensive crayons.

But wait, there’s more!! Coloring even farther outside the lines of political correctness is the political addition to the you-oughta-be-ashamed-of-yourself editions for all the players on Team America out there, the Offensive Crayons: Red, White, and F*ck You Edition.

Funny offensive crayons.

But wait, there’s porn!!! Yeah, that’s right. Porn. The Offensive Crayons Porn Pack came out in Summer 2020… and it’s just kept on coming ever since. The derogatory darling of the doodle world’s most delightfully distasteful set yet contains 24 smuttily-named colors suitable only for horny people 18 and up.

Funny offensive crayons.

But what you should color with these crayons? You’ll probably need a coloring book. Our recommendation: Go F*ck Yourself, I’m Coloring: Swear Word Coloring Book.

60 Comments…

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  1. Billy the Boner December 3, 2021

    Was totally disappointed till the very last crayon appeared. It is like you read my mind.

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  2. "Someone Wiped My Butt" December 3, 2021

    Shouldn’t “President” orange be brown now?

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  3. What, no Euro Edition? I can’t finish my picture of Angela Merkel without some Merica Hatin’ Mauve or some World Health Organization Yellow. 😧

    • Because it’s all in your head. We don’t constantly think about America or care what America thinks. America isn’t that important. Your former president Donald explained that too us.

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    • America isn’t all that important until stupid Europeans have gotten their ass in a sling and depended on America to pull it out.

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  4. Right…. America’s not important. Every where I go all over the world the news talks about what happened in America that day. Yet when I’m in America I rarely hear anything about what happened in other countries unless it’s some kind of disaster. On this site ALL they talk about is the US and how bad it is etc.. You people even lie to yourselves.

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    • Learn to use the reply-button. People told you this before. Is it that hard? Is it beyond your cerebral capacity?
      All we hear are desasters in America. And some celebrity news. Because nothing else happens in the US.

    • Like parents buying their kids guns for school massacres. Freedom deaths I guess.

    • The U.S. are breaking apart. Give it a few more years.
      After that there will be a modern, democratic country aside from Canada on the North American continent. Free elections, real democratic processes and modernized infrastructure. Pretty much like a modern democracy in Europe.
      And a dictatorship like regime of conservative christians. A christian Iran or North-Korea so to speak. Where women and minorities will have no rights and society is oppressed by the lunatic rules of a money-based aristocracy. What you see in the republican party and media right now is the fight for a seat in the future king’s court. Imagine their lordships Cruz and Carlson at the table of Donald I.

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    • Multi Sourced Bob. December 4, 2021

      I’m in the USSA, listen to many foreign country news casts
      * Sanity For Sweden (Sweden)
      * Paul Watson, Lotus Eaters (UK)
      * The Salty Cracker (California)
      * Dave Cullen (Ireland)
      * Styxhexenhammer666(Netherlands)
      * ⁣Max Igan/The Crowhouse(Oz)

      :-)

    • Florida’s nutjob governor is already promoting a militia under his personal (means Trump’s) control. Only the first. Other red states will follow. Civil war is imminent.

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    • Sorry @Multi Sourced Bob Twitter and Youtube are no news sources or sources for reliable information at all. Fail.. what else.

    • Saint Nickles December 4, 2021

      You only hear about disasters in other countries because that is newsworthy. Other countries follow the newsworthy events in the U.S. because we are #1.

    • #1 in disasters. True.

    • I just checked the front webpage of a Danish tabloid….

      There where:
      100+ news articles about what is going in Denmark.
      6 articles about the UK. – 3 about football, 3 about celebs and 1 about poisening from shepherds pie.
      4 about Germany – All football.
      3 articles about USA – 2 about celebs, 1 about the arrest of the parents of the shooter from a recent school shooting.
      2 articles from Italy about football
      2 from France about womens handball world championship
      1 from Spain about football
      1 from Canada about a danish NHL player
      1 from Saudi Arabia about Formula 1
      1 from Austria about someone getting the wrong leg amputeed
      1 from Netherlands about football.
      1 article from Australia – the birth of a pygmae hippo.
      1 from Russia about the military build up near Ukraine.

      Oddly enough there no news about the middle east, sweden and Norway – It must be quiet those places.

      So no – we dont think that much about you on the other side of the pond. But when we do, it usually because the USA f**k ups effect us aswell.

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    • Pretty much nailed it.

    • Multi Sourced Bob December 5, 2021

      @Anon #4 relating to MultiSource Bob
      Most are not on youtube or have a very limited presence. They are Odysee, Rumble, BitChute, Pilled; Alternate streaming sources that are increasingly becoming popular. Kinda of like voice of America was during Soviet times.

      Other additions to the list;
      Black Pigeon Speaks (Japan)
      Rebel News (Canada)

      I guess some would call them influencers, some use them as news sources, it is accepted they are editorial columns. Any way, they are a growing presence in alternative media, and as Mr Universe said in Serenity “You can’t stop the signal, Mel”.

  5. Florida’s nutjob governor is already promoting a militia under his personal (means Trump’s) control. Only the first. Other red states will follow. Civil war is imminent.

    • weird double post – server malfunction?

    • Nah. Just his schizo self kicking in.

    • I asked that myself. What you experience is projection.

    • James Madison December 5, 2021

      “Besides the advantage of being armed, which the Americans possess over the people of almost every other nation, the existence of subordinate governments, to which the people are attached, and by which the militia officers are appointed, forms a barrier against the enterprises of ambition, more insurmountable than any which a simple government of any form can admit of.”

  6. 🤣😂.. your posts about resent events in America only prove that what I said was true. I couldn’t tell you ANYTHING that happened in Canada or Europe except for the complete loss of personal freedoms in Australia, Austria etc.. yet you all are right up to date on what happens in a country you don’t even live in! Your ridiculous people. Seriously. Get a life.

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    • No kangaroos in Austria December 4, 2021

      I’m in Austria right now and haven’t lost any “personal freedoms.” You might consider changing your news provider right now. You are making a fool out of yourself.

    • Anthony is poorly informed and proud of it.

    • Pretty sure some of our trees exploded.

    • They are putting people in concentration camps and locking up people who won’t inject an experimental medical treat that 1 Offers little to no protection and 2 is causing heart problems,(see all the soccer players heart attacks etc..). To say your not losing personal freedoms when their are literally hundreds of thousands of people protesting losing personal freedom in the streets is cowardly and dishonest. Just pretend it’s not happening like 1930s Germany. Again, you are a ridiculous people. You deserve what your getting 100%. Those who trade freedom for safety deserve neither.

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    • There are no camps for the unvaccinated.

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    • There are way more people cueing for a booster shot than people demonstrating. The vaccine works well, and the side effects are peanuts compared to what covid does.

    • There are no camps in Europe for unvaxxinated people. And we hadn’t to store our dead in cooling trucks in back alleys like the Americans had to. Because most Europeans follow the scientific rules and avoid infections. The ICUs are filled to the brim with unvaccinated morons.
      The vaccines are not experimental. They had to run though the same tests and phases like all other meds. The technology already existed for other treatments, like cancer. For 60(!) years. They just had to tweak it for covid.
      High profile athletes can develop all kinds of heart problems. They weren’t the first. And untreated cold can develop into an pneumonia. If also untreated this can damage the heart. I had a colleague die because of this. There was no covid back then.
      It’s ususaly less than 50,000 at those protests. Because it’s always the same people. They tour from place to place and country to country. But only in free countries. They even use their children as shields against the police. In less free countries police wouldn’t give a sh*t and round them all up. If they weren’t free they wouldn’t be able to protest. They are the cause of the ongoing pandemic and protest against the countermeasures against their own stupidity.
      You obviously know nothing about the 1930’s in Germany and Europe. What we get is unvaccinated halfwits and nazis roaming our streets screaming about personal freedoms (the irony), threatening vaccinated people, politicians and healthworkers. And they keep breeding new variants. The same people that terrorized Europe in the 1930’s.

    • Which football players??
      Eriksen wasn’t vaccineted when he had his heart attack during the Euro cup.

      Who else?

    • He can’t answer this. His got his vage script from some fake news propaganda site.

  7. Just keep lying to yourselves. It only makes you sound more foolish, which is pretty tough. Out Here in the free world we can read and watch uncensored news and posts whatever we wish online without your “truth lockdowns” like having the police show up at your home for FaceBook posts or being arrested for sharing videos that disagree with Government propaganda. The brave people in these Nazi countries are sending videos out daily. Like the hidden camera videos from inside the camps in Australia or the police brutality or the videos of the hundreds of thousands of protesters you say are only fifty thousand. Because you think just because your Government controlled media doesn’t allow it on air you forget WE SEE ALL OF IT. Because we are not ruled by Government because we can take control anytime we wish and they know that. Unlike you folks it’s OUR country not like the Government overlords that rule over you ridiculous brain washed fools. We see and read what’s happening in these authoritarian countries first hand. Your lying denials of facts tells the free world how sad you are. Weak, spineless simps. Good luck with that.

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    • Wow, that’s some weird bubble you are living in. Even for an American. Looks like all your information comes from weird facebook accounts and breitbart-like fake news vendors. I pity you.

    • You clearly lack any information on the world outside the USA. Ditch the blinders, go to a real news station and learn.

    • You have most likely seen a video from a camp to quarantine people entering Australia, which is now also being used to suppress an outbreak in a nearby village. Nothing secret about it; it was on the BBC. Because — and this might surprise you — we have freedom of speech.

    • Freedom of speech. But not freedom of defamation. That’s why America is divided.

  8. Haha. Right.. so the videos of protests in Vienna, Genoa Italy and all over the world are all fake and aren’t really happening.. Again, you are ridiculous self delusion people and your out right denial of reality is proof. You’ve already lost. Just get on your knees and stay there. Your good at that.

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    • You want the truth? December 5, 2021

      Learn to read, troll. No one said they aren’t happening. They are just a minority. Most people in all those countries followed mask mandates, got vaccinated and are pro mandatory vaccination. Morons and nazis are just louder than normal people. And people are fed up with them spreading the virus, causing one lockdown after another, pysically attacking health care workers and blocking ICUs for involuntary sick people. We normal people are their hostages. They intimitate politician of all democratic parties with help of neonazi groups. Besiege their houses holding torches like the SA in the 1930’s, threatening to kill their families. They abuse the freedom that was given to them. That’s terror. They are terrorists.

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  9. So double and triple vaxxed people get, spread and die from Covid but to you it’s the unvaccinated people causing the spread, not the FACT that the vaccines don’t stop transmission nor do they provide immunity. Even though that’s what they sold the gene therapy with and they provably lied to you, the people who were smart enough to see through the lie, they are the problem? Okay 🤪.

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    • Eatliver System Response. December 6, 2021

      Reply invalid.

    • Here, in the local hospital 80% of covid patients are unvaccinated. 100% of these patients in the ICU are unvaccinated. 100% of deaths caused by covid are among the unvaccinated.
      In the whole country the vaccinated that are treated in ICUs are very old or suffer from immunodeficiency. You can count them on one hand. Population: 9 Million.
      You speak of facts? Yet you don’t even know that the mRNA vaccines are no gene therapy.

  10. They were patented as Gene Therapy. Look it up. The constant lies about the shot are why there are so many unvaccinated people. If they just told the truth about the number of adverse side effects and deaths people might trust them. But they don’t. So.. true bloods will remain pure. And the harder they push, mandates, passports etc.. the more we know it’s not about Covid. It was never about Covid.

    • The vaccine does not alter your genes, it is not gene therapy. And the public was informed about the (extremely rare) side effects as soon as they were discovered — vaccination was even put on hold for a while to figure out what was going on. The one that keeps on lying is you and your “true blood aryans”. And by doing so, you are causing more people to suffer and die.

    • When you are stupid your pure blood is useless. The sediment at the bottom of the gene pool.

  11. Well.. we’ll see. Us pure bloods are going to remain pure bloods NO MATTER WHAT. And the fact that you so steadfastly stick to the “vaccine” lie says everything. The Pattens are searchable. Easily found. It’s patented as a gene therapy. It’s right in the patent. No point in lying about it. Just makes people more resistant to take the jab when the lies are so blatantly obvious. So are you saying that people would not have taken it if they admitted in the beginning that it was gene therapy? It’s just amazing that people think it’s normal to have to take 3 or 4 jabs in less then a year in order to have “freedom”. Where do you think freedom comes from? Here’s a hint, it doesn’t come from a Government unless that Government is a totalitarian Government that took freedom away and is now holding it hostage to get what it wants. This is not about Covid. It was never about Covid.

    • Does this delusion make you feel special? I know it’s addictive. Your bodies drugs rushing through your brain while you write your furious post. You must be one of the chosen one. A martyr at least.
      Here’s a hint, we don’t care because we know it’s nonsense. All your posts read like those crackheads at the streetcorner shouting weird stuff at people. But there are many people around who understand who viruses and vaccines work. They might have better education than you. Maybe they are smarter. But that doesn’t mean they are against you or feel they are better than you. They just understand what’s happening and don’t fear the universe because they don’t have all answers. They are trying to save you and your loved ones from a deadly desease. Pandemics happen all +/- 100 years statistically. You are just in bad luck to live right now. The bad thing you do is spreading a deadly virus among those who don’t understand and those who can’t protect themselves. And enabling fascists that try to use the current situation to their advantage. Like they did 100 years ago.

    • You are only demonstrating that you do not understand what you read. The vaccine does not alter your genes. The mRNA is unlikely to enter the cell nucleus where your DNA resides, and is chemically sufficiently different from your DNA not to insert. Your cells are making mRNA all the time without it altering your DNA. Nor do we have a totalitarian government that holds our freedom hostage — common sense and medical science say it is wise to protect yourself against the virus rather than to to die needlessly.

    • If I was an evil overlord I’d kill people with a super-infectious airborne virus. Not with a vaccine… That would be ineffective and retarded.

    • Well,

      The world will be better when you’ve died from covid. Please make sure you don’t breed

  12. It’s gene therapy. Not a vaccine and the death rate for Covid is unchanged. First time in history that the ineffectiveness of a medicine is being blamed on those who haven’t taken it. Believe as you wish. Lie as you wish. Maybe you actually believe your own lies. It matters not. I just know know that millions and millions of people will never, ever take the jab. So toss out common sense. Burn the Nuremberg Code. Give away your freedoms. Hey, it’s your right.

    • No one will believe your lies (or delusion) that’s for sure. And common sense is BS. If we would follow people’s common sense like yours we’d still burn witches….

  13. Explain how the highest rates of Covid are in the most vaccinated areas? Explain why heart problems and strokes are up 27% in young people especially for athletes? Oh but non of that is true! Haha. Just keep telling yourself that and line up for your 5th, 6th 7th jab. Australia just bought enough to give every man, women and child 11 doses. 11! Are people seriously that dumb that they would continue taking shots when they provably don’t work? Especially against the newest variant where it is 0% effective. It’s not about Covid. It was never about Covid. Covid still has a less then 1% death rate. That was true on day one and it’s still true. Wake up!

    • A kind friend December 9, 2021

      You have dug yourself a very deep hole of fabrications and delusions, too deep for facts to penetrate. Go see a shrink.

    • Nothing in this long text is true. What a waste of letters. I hope you realize there are people who will believe your nonsense. Their deaths will be on you.

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