My Dog, The Paradox


Made by Matthew.


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  1. Eatliver, you just made me go out and buy lots of goodies for my dog.

    • The Lone Wonderer July 7, 2014

      Good point.. instead of interwebbing today, I’m walking the dog a lengthy bit in the park!

    • Update: all the goodies that I gave to my dog made her feel like she was the absolute and irrevocable princess of the cosmos and of other 3 parallel universes. I had to go ape to put her back in her place. Look what you made me do, evil Eatliver!

    • YAAAAAAAAAS! ur dog needs it

  2. Sir Crazy July 7, 2014

    My dog seems to have bipolar disorder for he has no problems with motor vehicles but turn on the engine alone and it’s like he’s gone rabid. Our vet had advised us to get him neutered as this would make him calmer. Calmer??? I caught that damn mutt trying to hump a fallen tree branch and the gate.

  3. Ann Onimous July 7, 2014

    I used to do a demonstration with my late dog. I would put a drumstick in my mouth. She, being a small dog, would climb up and take it from my mouth. She would run off to another part of the house. I would then follow her and try to take the chicken back. She would growl and try to bite me.
    Conclusion: I like dogs, but “Man’s best friend?”

    • Sir Crazy July 7, 2014

      One lesson I’ve learned well in life and that is to never be near a dog’s mouth when it’s eating or else risk being attacked. When I was younger I had a rottweiler that was quite playful (near timid if u ask me) but anytime u put anything near him while he was eating he’s snap at you. I walked passed him one when he was eating and he snapped at my leg. Luckily for me my reflexes were quick enough to move away in time.

    • Ann Onimous July 7, 2014

      In other words, dogs are Man’s best friend, but not the other way around.

    • Sir Crazy July 8, 2014

      More like Food is Dog’s best friend.

    • Sir Crazy July 8, 2014

      But then again to some dogs Man is their best friend for if Food is their best friend and to some dogs Man = Food then there ya go.

    • Maybe you should have trained your dog at a very early age to eat with your hands around it. We taught all of our dogs to have our hands in and around their mouths while they ate, we tugged at their ears and tails gently while they ate, we made loud noises. This trains the dog to become used to distractions and know its place in the home.

    • We would play with the dogs food aswell to know to be careful

  4. Dogs are gross.

    • Do you know how many creatures live at this moment on your skin, on your hair, inside your body… everywhere? They are crawling and buzzing and grossing around all over you.

    • Frank Einstein July 7, 2014

      …Do you know how many insects (or parts of insects) the average human being consumes in the course of a year? Literally THOUSANDS.

    • And do you know how many little pieces of poop float around in the air ready for you to swallow or breath in?

  5. eatliver thing about dogs ^^^ loads of ace comments.
    eatliver thing about cats – everyone is pi**ed off.
    more dog stuff & zero cat stuff = harmony

  6. WoAiZhongguo July 9, 2014

    I like dogs with mushroom and garlic sauce

  7. This was beautiful. I STILL miss my Elvira, who was put to sleep ten years ago. :(

  8. This is to my dogs. Leo Cortez Mr. Snufflebottoms and Pookie Madame Woof. I love you my crazy shoe munchers.

  9. So this made me cry. Oatmeal is brillant.

  10. i cried and hugged my dog.

  11. God's Holy Trousers November 16, 2014

    When I go for a walk with my best friend, she doesn’t shit in the street and expect me to pick it up. I’ll stick to humans, thanks.

    • I think you have made a good decision of you can’t take care of a dog don’t get one.
      However remember that in the beginning of your life someone had to pick up your shit

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