If Jesus Tried To Feed The 5000 Today…


If Jesus tried to feed the 5000 today...


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  1. …The GOP would try to stop him. “Don’t feed those lazy people!”

    Instead of “what would Jesus do” it’s more like, what would piss off Jesus. Like when they JUDGE thy neighbor etc.

    • All religions are poison.

    • @AFF

      It always depends on the interpretation. There is good stuff in every religion, but if people dared to do the good stuff, religion could not be exploited for power by those who seek power.

    • The Good Book October 6, 2019

      2 Thessalonians 3:10-15
      For even when we were with you, we would give you this command: If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat. For we hear that some among you walk in idleness, not busy at work, but busybodies. Now such persons we command and encourage in the Lord Jesus Christ to do their work quietly and to earn their own living. As for you, brothers, do not grow weary in doing good. If anyone does not obey what we say in this letter, take note of that person, and have nothing to do with him, that he may be ashamed.

      Proverbs 13:4
      The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied.

    • Judge not, lest you be judged. Love thy neighbor. Kind of obvious.

      Mr Good Book – you must be a devote follower. Did you skip all the parts about helping the poor? I guess so. Go ahead and skip all the golden rule bits too. If your afterlife is real, I’m sure that god will be so proud when you meet and you can tell him why you ignored the important stuff.

    • Andy Stout May 6, 2022

      Jesus feeds his flock a lot worse crap than loaves of bread and fish.

  2. Environmental terrorist duplicating carbon based edibles such as bread and fish, enabling people not to starve. How dare he (in Greta voice)?!!!

    • Go home and eat rocks, Oh snap. And take a good sip of bleach with it.

    • I will. Just need to fly some of my crew back from Europe to sail all of the ~40kg of me back on the 4MEUR sailing boat.

    • Change of plan. I’m needed in Asia, so I cannot go home and eat rocks and drink bleach just yet. I’ll swim to Asia with a support crew of 50 and media crew of 20 (in rotation), because I realised that the creation of sailing boats produce CO2 as a waste product.

    • Umm, hey Cheers, I’ve run into a slight issue. Do you have a sage advice for me on how to fix this? My manager Soros says that in order to avoid further media embarrassment, the crew and media cannot use sail boats or planes on my journey to Asia. I was on the verge of saving the world, pls. help me out.

    • If you can’t help yourself you are not worth my help. Seems this Greta is still ahead of you. I see your manhood shrinking to a raisin. So sad.

    • Oh dear. Your initial comment made you look so wise and knowledgeable, I was sure you would instantly have a proposal on how to fix this dilemma.

  3. Simon "The Rock" Peter October 4, 2019

    Jeezus man. Can’t a joke that involved the Lawd Jeezus be a joke without it getting all political? Keep religion and politics separate. Like Jeezus said, “Render unto Ceasar that which is Ceasar’s and God that which is God’s.” Keep yer politics outta religion and keep yer religion outta politics.

    • *lol* In God’s own country? USA are christian Iran.

    • I got a better idea, Simon. Talk about whatever topics should be talked about, whenever and wherever and in whatever combination.
      Rather than idiotic categorizations of topics followed by self-righteous proclamations of what combinations will not be allowed.

  4. Well that’s weird. The guy with his hand in the air doesn’t look a thing like Obama.

  5. Jesus was a communist.

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