Husbands Tweeting About Marriage


More funny Twitter stuff here.


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  1. Bubba and Joe Bob August 31, 2016

    Me and Joe Bob has experience along them lines. Sometimes txting is easier than talkin’. Safer too.

  2. Cats > Marriage

  3. Wife: Which part of the number on the bottom of a check is the account number?
    Me: (confidently) The first part.
    Wife: I don’t think it is.
    Me: Yes, it is.
    Wife: You should call the bank and ask them.
    Me: I don’t need to, it is the first part.
    Wife: Just call the bank.
    Me: (to bank customer service rep): I feel stupid asking this, but my wife is making me. Which part of the number on the bottom of a check is the account number?
    Bank: The first part.
    Me: (to wife) I called the bank, they said the first part like I said.
    Wife: You’re lying, you didn’t really call the bank.

  4. The secret of a happy marriage is not marrying the right person, it’s being the right person. And it goes to show here. Many,many men don’t want a significant other or soul mate or companion, they want a flatrate ***** & maid combination.

    • You’re not married and, btw, either you’re an insufferable ‘white knight’ or a woman.

  5. My wife told me I couldn’t respond to this so I won’t.

  6. Happy Wife, Happy Life

    • A Dose of Reality July 2, 2017

      Oh, so optimistic.
      First: There’s no such thing as a ‘Happy Wife’. By their nature, women are unhappy, and nothing you can do will change that.
      Second: Since it’s impossible to make her happy, she will not tolerate YOU being happy, and to be quite frank, even if she miraculously WERE to become happy, she would STILL make sure YOU weren’t happy, as she’ll assume there is only so much happy in the world, so if YOU are happy, then you’re stealing HER happy, and that will NOT do…
      Third: IF you could actually find a woman that your actions would make her happy, the things you would do TO make her happy would, without exception, ALL be things that make you miserable, defeating the entire purpose…

  7. People need to get better wives. Not petty-ass entitled liabilities.

    • A Dose of Reality July 2, 2017

      Exactly. This generally requires finding a wife from outside your own culture…
      Do a search for ‘Israeli men legally harassed by women’, and you will see exactly where the current trend in Over-Protection of Women leads. Current Western society refuses to see anything like ‘equality’ when it comes to womens’ behavior. A woman calls the police after a taxi driver tells her to get out of his car when she tells him that she’s going to smoke in it, despite the numerous signs in the car forbidding it, slaps HERSELF while talking to them and cries out that he’s attacking her. The police come, and DESPITE the fact that he has a video camera installed on his dashboard that recorded the WHOLE incident, HE gets arrested and jailed until he can get the video evidence removed from his car and submitted DURING HIS HEARING. He was held no just til he could get someone to recover the video, but had to wait for his COURT APPEARANCE to even present it as evidence of his innocence! And does she suffer ANY punishment for falsely accusing him, LYING on an official police report, and costing him his freedom, and several days of lost wages? Nope. Reverse the genders of the participants, and he’d be doing 3yrs in jail for it!

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