Comedians Sharing Valuable Life Lessons

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  1. PatronusKitty7 February 10, 2017

    Okay.

  2. Seersucker Suit February 10, 2017

    Sarah Silverman isn’t a comedian.

    • Who is she then?

    • @Lolfosor
      I guess you just have to insert some mysogynistic and antisemitic phrases as an answer. That’s what you get on other sites.

    • He could mean that she just isn’t funny, which I agree with.

    • @Lolfosor
      Judging by that quote, she’s an illiterate.

    • @Pedant Fixed ;)

    • “Pedant – Judging by that quote, she’s an illiterate.”
      Yeah, I read it a couple times trying to figure it out. Could be a threat, like the only reason she hasn’t killed us yet is because she doesn’t see us clearly. I’m not even sure if it non-parallel sentence structure or just bad grammar.

    • Tile Glue Guy February 12, 2017

      She played an astronomer in Star Trek Voyager for an episode and she dates Mat Daemon.

  3. Another Robin Williams inspirational quote: “Don’t give up! If life gives you lemons, just laugh, but don’t give up”. Umm, yeah . . . about that.

  4. “Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”

  5. In wine there’s wisdom, in beer there’s freedom, in water there’s… Bacteria – ?
    “Arguing with idiots is like playing chess with a pigeon… No matter how good you are, the bird is going to shit on the board and strut around like it won anyway.” – xzibit
    I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something’s wrong with me. – Elayne Boosler
    Whenever I date a guy, I think, “Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?” – Rita Rudner
    Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. – Garrison Keillor
    In life you are given two ends; one to think with and the other to sit on. Your success in life depends on which end you use most. Heads you win, tails you lose. – Conrad Burns

  6. Jerry Seinfeld reptilian confirmed.

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