What If Tim Burton Directed Disney Movies?

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  1. Here’s a challenge for you EatLiver users: can you turn this post into political rant?

    • It’s dark and gloomy because Bush and Trump destroyed the EPA?
      Though the stalker behind Beauty and the Beast is more similar to Bill Clinton. And we all know that he’d do with Sleeping Beauty.
      And naturally Aladdin and Jasmine would never get a Green Card.

    • Sanders would complain that Pinocchio was denied a living wage for the work he did at the puppet show. Warren would agree and then say that Geppetto didn’t actually make Pinocchio and that someone else made it happen. Al Sharpton would have a rally to protest the too white of a cast.
      I heard the Little Mermaid was caught in a gillnet off Mar-a-Lago.

    • Teddy Roosevelt shot the Lion King and Dumbo on safari.

    • The Lone Wonderer February 20, 2017

      Just send Kauf Buch a message…

    • The inevitable hobbling of the EPA and Trump’s cronyism will certainly lead to a significant increase in environmental toxins and the destruction of off-shore reefs with the resultant decimation of the mermaid population. There is a good chance Ariel won’t survive until the next election.

    • None of these characters are able to live at Disney now, they are all immigrants and I doubt they came here legally. Aladdin looks like a terrorist as well, they should security check him.

    • Animas River February 22, 2017

      Ban the EPA

  2. Dumbo: His first State of the State address
    I admit it’s lame.

  3. I always preferred the Little Mermaid’s little sister. She’s also half girl/half cod, but the other way around…

  4. One of these... February 20, 2017

    …. is scheduled to become a reality.

  5. All Disney classics should be updated for the post-modern progressive ideocracy!
    Beauty and the Disenfranchised Trans-Species Minority
    The Nightmare Before A Non-Denominational Year-End Holiday We’re Not Allowed to Name
    Two Mexican Dalmatians and Ninety Nine Anchor Pups
    Aladdin Does Sweden
    The Differently-Abled-But-Definitely-Not-Handicapped Person of Notre Dame
    Snow-White Privilege and the Seven Diversity Hires
    Finding Nemo’s Gender Identity
    Lady-Boy and the Food-Stamp Tramp
    There’s a start for you libbers. Off to movies with you (since you don’t have jobs anyway). Go shout your hippie solidarity slogans at the big screen. “Oh no, Snow White! Don’t eat that apple! It might not be artisinally-grown non-GMO fair-trade cooperative-owned dolphin-safe organic!”

    • Dalmatians are from Croatia, you typically intellectually incurious knee-jerking right-wing troglodyte.

    • These Dalmatians self-identify as Mexican, you racist! Stop micro-aggressing Croatian-Mexicans!
      (In any case: I’m going to build a kennel, and those hounds WILL pay for it.)

  6. Most of them look like they just saw their parents nude for the first time…

    • Win. I was thinking they were kinda cute, then I read your comment. Now I can’t stop laughing!

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